I set out a week ago to make a post each day for the month of November. After just 8 days I have decided that it is a pointless exercise. I think that the main motive for setting such a goal was that after not having posted for several days I could see myself once again giving up on blogging. So I figured that posting daily might help me to regain the newly formed habit of regular posting. I do think just this short week has helped in that area, however it has also shown me that by and large I don’t care to make posts because of some goal that the part of me that aspires to some discipline sets. So I am going to rebel against myself and just post whenever I feel like it.
I do believe that I have caught the blogging bug enough that I will have plenty of motivation to keep it up. I have made some posts that I learned something from. Especially once I had posted enough to see some patterns. I also have learned maybe as much by posts that I have started and not finished. Maybe you have had the experience of starting a post that you thought you cared a lot about or maybe had something important to say and then found out in writing that it actually didn’t mean that much to you. I have and found it a worthwhile experience.
I suppose one thing I did learn from the thirty day experiment is how I do tend to impose extreme measures on myself when I see some shortcoming. Then eventually I rebel against my own tyranny.
Several times over the years I have started blogs and have seldom done much with them. Now this morning I was writing a post while I was walking. I do this fairly often when I am far away from being able to record my thoughts, and then have them lose their magic once I am back in front of the computer.
Still today I did realize that there are at least two reasons why I do not keep up with a blog. One is that I want my posts to be perfect and maybe profound before I see in any value in posting. Since so far I haven’t created such a post and probably am unlikely to that is quite an obstacle. The second reason is that much of what I would post may tend toward being critical and maybe even inflammatory. I wonder if more of that kind of thing is needed. I do think that it would be a good thing to post things that offer encouragement and help relieve suffering. And maybe I could do that sometimes, however it would require suppressing much of my nature. I am not anywhere close to being the Dalai Lama.
So to be able to post I can see that I just need to write and not be too concerned about perfection. And see the writing as part of becoming better rather than having to be at the place I would like to be before I even start. And also to express whatever is on my mind without so many filters may be a helpful thing in the long run.
I have a cat who likes to express his opinion by swatting me. I don’t care much for that kind of expression, however I know that it is in his nature to give his opinion in that form. So usually I stay out of swatting range when I know he is experiencing some strong feeling. For his part he has learned to keep his claws in most of the time when he is trying to make a point. And I am afraid I can’t find a neat way to tie this story into what I was saying before. It just came to mind as I was thinking about expression. There probably is some connection, however maybe I will think of that another day. Now I think it is time to push the publish button.
